Posts : 15
Join date : 2010-06-17
|Subject: Fear and Now 8/24/2010, 12:19 pm|| |
reading this forum has been an awesome reminder that no one is perfect and not to expect perfection from authority figures.
lately though, i've found a lot of fear coming up. the last thing i want to do is cause suffering for others. if people who have been meditating and practicing spirituality can be blind to their own faults resulting in such pain and confusion for people around them, what chance do i have? what if i become that sort of person? do i have to refuse to take on any position of authority for fear of it changing me?
scary stuff for me. i want to make a positive difference and i think sometimes that means being willing to step up and lead. and yet what if i lead people into trouble? worse, what if i do it without being willing or able to realize it?
Posts : 165
Join date : 2010-06-29
|Subject: Re: Fear and Now 8/24/2010, 5:35 pm|| |
- Quote :
- scary stuff for me. i want to make a positive difference and i think sometimes that means being willing to step up and lead. and yet what if i lead people into trouble? worse, what if i do it without being willing or able to realize it?
A couple of things that help considerably are to get the intent dead right and to diligently focus on the well-being of the other person. Then pay close attention to results. What is happening? Are the results helping or harming?
The two ways people tend to go astray is that they become arrogant, and then refuse or fail to look at outcomes and make adjustments based on what they see. The arrogance usually comes in the forms of people believing they "know" what they do not, and maintaining that they "know" what is good for another being. The second type failure usually comes from an inability to see or admit mistakes.
I've made plenty of mistakes as a parent, but I think it's helped enormously to keep in mind that I love my offspring, that I mostly don't know anything for sure, and that I'd better look closely and deliberately at results to see if they are in accordance with a wholesome intent. As a parent, you have no option to lead or not to lead. You have to take the risk. You do it because you really want to help that child with the best that you can offer, and because failing to lead would be harm itself.