New member -- Jewely

Hello, I am new to this forum. Before I started going to the Abbey (Throssel) I was in a real cult. Extortion, threats, bullying, psychological torment and lies, lies lies were just everyday life. Conversely, when I first arrived for an intro retreat at the abbey, I felt like singing like a little bird!!! No-one asked me for money (all donations can be secret and to one's budget), no-one took me in a room and talked at me for hours, no one told me I lived my life badly and just to check it out I didn't contact them for some nine months afterwards just to see what they would do - guess what - no-one bothered me. So, just like Jimyo (who I wish would come back) I KNOW that the OBC is not a cult. I also know that monks and masters are just folks with a difficult job and they are going to have their "off" days, premenstrual tension, personality clashes etc. On the whole these guys have really helped me recover my trust in humankind and religion. Perfection? Of course not! Isn't it "going on, going on, always going on, always becomming Buddha..." That goes for all of us, not just the monks.

Hello Jewely, welcome to the forum, and thanks for joining us. I'm going to move your post to the Introductions section so it will be more visible.

cheers,
Lise

Hi jewely, welcome to the forum. Good to have someone who supports Jimyo's point of view. We get a bit one sided here sometimes, but then most of us have had less positive experiences than you.

jewely wrote:

Hello, I am new to this forum. Before I started going to the Abbey (Throssel) I was in a real cult. Extortion, threats, bullying, psychological torment and lies, lies lies were just everyday life. Conversely, when I first arrived for an intro retreat at the abbey, I felt like singing like a little bird!!!

You are correct that nothing like what you're describing ever went on at Shasta Abbey or in any other OBC affiliated group to my knowledge. The issues discussed here are less extreme and the difficulties that many of us experienced evolved over years. Compared with the blatant (and possibly criminal) abuse of the cult you were in it's understandable that Throssel is a real relief. I learned a great deal during my years at Shasta Abbey, but eventually it became too restrictive for me. So I say appreciate the good, but if a time comes when it stops working for you don't be afraid to walk.

And by the way welcome to OBC Connect.

Hi Jewely, welcome among us.
You wrote:
I also know that monks and masters are just folks with a difficult job
and they are going to have their "off" days

Would you tell me what you mean by the 'difficult job' the monks have?
As to their "off" days - if you read the posts on the forum, you might see that possibly - just possibly - there was (and possibly is) an endemic problem in OBC, quite beyond off-days, and personality clashes.
I also enjoy Jimyo's posts, but am a bit puzzled - somewhere she wrote that she had a very hard time, both at Throssel and Shasta, and elsewhere she writes well of Shasta. I know that no description fully describes our very complex experiences, but I would like to hear more from her.

As to more 'balanced' view of OBC on the forum (which Jimyo might help contributing to) - is that our goal? Who is to judge if the composite picture we help creating is balanced?
I think the very important tacit agreement we have on the forum is that we try not to discount each other's experience, each other's account of it.
Finally, I am sure, Jewely, that OBC is not a cult as the one you described having had a contact with in the past. It may, however, have certain cult-like features, which probably the ordained trainees would be more exposed to than the lay ones.
Do stick around - this is an interesting discussion.
Ol'ga

jewely,

Welcome! I still drop in now and then, and I'm flattered to have been missed.

My reasons for posting so little are many and varied, but they boil down to one thing basically - I see little point? I had good and bad experiences at Shasta and Throssel, from which I feel I learned a tremendous amount, which were ultimately bery positive, and for which I'm extremely grateful. Other people had good and bad experiences from which they took different learning experiences. Right, OK. To me, end of story. If I say, "My experiences are good" that is an ultimate truth which you can't argue with...and vice versa. You could change your feelings about it, but you have to find a reason to do that yourself, if you want to.

I see most of the discussion here as a somewhat intellectual waste of time, FOR ME. I have a busy and full life and I don't think I either get much out of being here or can help others here either. So I don't post much.

I do, however, love meeting old friends here...I'm a very social animal these days. So balanced/unbalanced, true/false, whatever these forums are, I choose to leave you all to discuss them yourselves. At least...most of the time!

Hi Jewely, and welcome to the forum from another noob.

Jim