Thanks for the welcomes, Chisan and Kyogen. I was brief in my first posting because (1) it kept getting bounced back so I thought it was too long (it was my title: too short, duh) and (2) I'm reluctant to reveal much about myself because I want to remain anonymous for now. To my priory and to OBC. I found a great deal to use from OBC, and thought that when my son was grown I would become a monk, but heard a voice one day telling me I'd marry again (I'd been divorced a couple years), that monastic life would actually be too easy for me. And I did meet a man two years later, and we have been married 16 years now, and all the stuff at Shasta still seems easier than staying married! That is, for my ego. And the marriage just took me right out of the priory and into the lives of my husband and children. When I think of starting meditation practice, and especially being involved in my local priory again with the rituals and the community thingies, and I've tried "re-entry", there's just something that is respectful but unsatisfied.
With that said, I've also been studying shamanism and doing a bit myself (I do bodywork as well as some other stuff), and what I find unsatisfying about Buddhism is: celibacy. Which is another thread, I know. (And I've been looking at it.) I think I didn't like being a lay-trainee in OBC because it was like being a monk without the "good" stuff. And when I thought about Buddha's life, bless the dude, it seemed too much a rejection for me of basic human life. Good path for Siddhartha Gautama: not really good for most of the rest of us. It turns out, for me, enlightenment is not the best I can aim for.
Still keeping open for that "best", but it has to do with not being monastic. For me.
Thanks for the interest. My ego is now nicely inflated!