Getting it of my chest

I think I am mature enough in practice to take the knocks and bangs being expressed on this forum against the obc. And realise the importance of true practice even when alone with nothing to hold on to, and holding on is not much of an option for me at the moment.With the Dorje Shugden /Dali Lama trauma, and the Thervadan clash over women ordination, recently learning of the problems in the obc and the history of zen at war in Japan, when does the ego /sense of self ever stop. And I suppose it doesnt, it cant. When one bubble bursts we are always in another bubble and if good fortune prevails that will burst if we can take the shock, and the utter humility in some cases.I feel a bit sick of Buddhism at the moment and maybe relgion as a whole.
The need to face ourselves is utterly important in human life, and the quest to do so is a painfull one, What is truely right requires deep listening, and is in constant change
needing honing and adjustment through it all. Im taking a little solace at the moment in listening to Joyce meyers ministries online, evangelical it maybe but theres a lady with a big heart. Shove aside the bible bashing, and she has a lot to say about every day life. Hope Im not being indoctrinated.

john wrote:

.I feel a bit sick of Buddhism at the moment and maybe relgion as a whole.
The need to face ourselves is utterly important in human life, and the quest to do so is a painfull one, What is truely right requires deep listening, and is in constant change
needing honing and adjustment through it all. Im taking a little solace at the moment in listening to Joyce meyers ministries online, evangelical it maybe but theres a lady with a big heart. Shove aside the bible bashing, and she has a lot to say about every day life. Hope Im not being indoctrinated.

That honesty, I think, is a critical element in the spiritual quest. It is painful sometimes, and what you see when the mask of the persona drops isn't always nice. I'm reminded of what Ram Dass said one time. It was something like, "You realize suddenly that you are falling. And you panic -- until you also realize there's no ground. And then you relax." That's somewhat the feeling.

Coming from an evangelical background in the distant past, I'm not inclined to fall into Christianity again. It, however, has become part of my practice to try to be open to truth wherever it comes from -- whatever the source. One night in the hospital, I was lying in bed at 2 AM flipping through channels, and I passed by the Christian channel, and paused for a moment to wonder at the absurdity of what I sometimes find there. There on TV was a well know faith healer talking about unforgiveness and his problem with it in an instance where he'd been hurt. He said something like, "Unforgiveness is like taking poison and hoping the other person dies." What a powerfully succinct statement of Buddhist and Christian truth. (You could substitute hate or anger for unforgiveness without harming his metaphor.) I shook my head and laughed. If you are really open to truth, it will sometimes come at you from the most unlikely sources.

Well said John I like your title getting it off your chest, and also your sentiments too.
My question to you is , you have seen what is not quite right with religions outside of yourself. Do you think the religion or spirituality in side youself, is right or wrong?

Hi Chisan.
I have no way of knowing.Treating others with care, which would also include myself is an indicator of the direction of true love.But my buttons can be pressed like anybody elses. But I will say when I feel illwill towards others there is usually remorse and contemplation to follow. The cycle of anger grief love, or dispair grief love seem nessesary to me in the movement forward if there is such a thing. I get this feeling sometimes that nothing is right in the world, and I dont mean big things.Its a sort of ache/anxiety, of existence itself. And of that is a strange joyfullness....

I like that john, a good honest answer

The truth remains whole, John, though people falter. Don't let the flaws of the world make you give up on the truth. Just as you get glimpses of the truth and it is then clouded over by your own confusion, the same phenomena appears in the world outside yourself. That is why we all need compassion and forgiveness--along with honesty and accountability.

John, the stuff you wrote in your messages above sounds to me more "Buddhist" than a lot of so-called Buddhist stuff around. You're just following your life and your path and are feeling disheartened with religion at the moment - as long as you're honest about it and stick to the path of compassion, forgiveness, honesty and accountability (to use Kaizan's words) then you can't go far wrong, I'm sure.

When I'm feeling a little disillusioned though I like watching Thich Nhat Hahn - his smiley face and soft voice boost my morale levels! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aubF7v-MlMM

p.s. are you John who was at the Minsteracres retreat a couple of weeks ago? Mind you, there is an over-abundance of Johns in the OBC it seems. We've got at least three in the Teesside group :-)

Hi Katersy.No wasnt me . Im John Mallon,I live in Portsmouth.
Disillusioned Yes, giving up on practice No. Well not as far as I can tell.
Practicing the path of awareness has its difficulties but I think the alternative is much worse, eventualy.For me practice is a far more natural way to live and respond to life.
What ever way I try to nail it down it never seems substantual. But the will to follow the call of life through meditation practice is enough for me. Trusting and hoping that that is so,I just keep on doing it as best I can.
Thank you for your supportive words.

Oh well, hi John Mallon in Portsmouth

Happy new year to you... may you find inspiration in 2011!

Katy

In would like to add another recommendation for Thich Nhat Hanh (which I have done previously on this forum). His writings express immense humanity and despite being a monastic are far less 'religious' than alot of the other rather pushy / rigid 'Buddhisms' currently popularising themselves in the West.