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 for Michael's son's friend

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Posts : 1431
Join date : 2009-11-08
Age : 44

PostSubject: for Michael's son's friend   Fri May 10, 2013 10:13 pm

Michael, I am sorry that this young man's time was so brief, and that he felt he had to leave in this way. Blessings to him, and all whom he touched.

Subject: Re: The Story of the Three Dimes Today at 11:55

What an unusual day today.A freind from 30 odd years ago that I used to sit with in London,reconnected via this Forum and he is coming down to Cornwall in a couple of weeks so we can meet up again..how nice is that.
And sadly I have just come back from a local gathering in a secluded wood
where the ashes were spread of a young lad who would have been 17 today.
Unfortunately he killed himself a couple of months ago,the lad was best
friends with my youngest son. We are all left stunned and have no
answers,it is a peculiar place where I live so many different types of
people.The lads parents do not believe in a deity so the gathering to
spread his ashes was without planning or any form at all,people of all
ages and background pop star, Romany, artist, surfers,has beens and drop
outs,all together,beer was drunk cigarettes smoked,,and yet within the
lack of form there was a great feeling of respect and togetherness.It
was very pleasant and terribly sad at the same time that a young lad
could not find his way through,and no one spotted there was a problem.
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Posts : 364
Join date : 2009-11-10

PostSubject: Re: for Michael's son's friend   Sat May 11, 2013 12:03 am

So sad and hard for your son.
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Posts : 1640
Join date : 2010-11-17

PostSubject: Re: for Michael's son's friend   Sat May 11, 2013 3:59 am

That is so nice of you Carol Thank you.
It is very sad and very disturbing, the lad had a normal family row with his mum before he hung himself, which makes it more difficult for the family,The boys friends have been fantastic, not afraid to show their grief, and sticking together in life and death.
This time I will only send over my love and thanks you will receive it in a second
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Posts : 124
Join date : 2010-08-30
Age : 75
Location : norfolk uk

PostSubject: Re: for Michael's son's friend   Sat May 11, 2013 5:23 am

I'm so sorry what sadness, i send my love to you and your son.

Here my very nice neighbours are going through a similar( well of course not THAT similar ) suicide of a young brilliant boy killing himself .
I add that just with a sense that we are not alone - but such sadness -
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Posts : 1640
Join date : 2010-11-17

PostSubject: Re: for Michael's son's friend   Sat May 11, 2013 10:08 am

Thank you Nicky, and Lise

I must tell you a story of the dying cat.
We have been very busy at work and doing some 13 hour days, which is far too long, well a month or so ago, I was driving home when I suddenly saw what looked like cats eyes shining in my car lights, the eyes were on the road it could be an accident, I wanted to ignore it as I was so tired.
Something stirred in side I am a Buddhist and I have taken serious vows I have to stop and go and find the cat.

Funnily enough the last time I wanted not to hear what was being said was when my friend I mentioned above, shouted to me when I was helping father John and his soup kitchen,as some guy had pulled a razor in our van, That time also I did choose to hear ended up grabbing the hand with the razor..such fun I have!

I walked back to the cat and it was a very big cat trying to crawl away from me, I knew if I picked it up, it would rip me to pieces, so I took my coat off and threw it over the cat then wrapped the coat around it and picked it up. I looked at the cat in it's eyes it was calm and completely trusting, we shared something, something vast beyond words and description, to call it Buddha mind or emptyness adds words that were not present,I phoned my girlfriend Tamara and asked her to find a vet that was open,and I then knocked on a few doors to find the owner, within a minute there were 6 of us trying to find the owner,but time was running out, Tamara phoned with an open vet and I got back in my car, my dog knew there was something wrong and remained quiet,the cat was hanging on and seemed content to be connected to me. I was at the vet in 5 minutes,and they saw me straight away,they need to give the cat a painkilling injection, but the cat did not want to be held by them so I held the cat while the vet injected her. I then said goodbye to the cat as it went off for an xray and of course a painless death, throughout the whole time, this gorgeous cat pointed the way beyond words,the formless way which is vast and which connects us all.
The owner of the cat phoned me the next day, and I told him the story of my experience and relationship with his cat, he loved the story and it gave him some comfort as he had himself lost a faithful friend.
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Posts : 217
Join date : 2010-12-03

PostSubject: Re: for Michael's son's friend   Sat May 11, 2013 11:57 am


Firstly, so sorry for your sons friend and family. There are situations in this life that seemingly have no way out and who knows what this young man was really dealing with. Also, when I just read your cat rescue story an old Native American saying I just recently ran across came to mind, and here it is: " Strive to be a person who is never absent from an important act ". Thank you for demonstrating that you are such a person, an act of kindness can have a monumental effect.

With a bow

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Posts : 605
Join date : 2010-11-14
Age : 75
Location : Bedfordshire, UK

PostSubject: Re: for Michael's son's friend   Sun May 12, 2013 7:50 pm

Mike - dreadful; dreadful for your son and even worse for his friends family. Knowing you I'm sure that you can help with your strength, solidity and clarity when they are bound to be feeling confusion, loss and doubt.
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Posts : 1640
Join date : 2010-11-17

PostSubject: Re: for Michael's son's friend   Mon May 13, 2013 1:57 am

Thanks Bridgette.lovely saying always hard to live up to.

Yes Mark it is dreadful,and disturbing, Mum and Dad can not see eye to eye,they do not live together but even further apart now the older brother hurts like mad,and many adults are being very supportive, and all say the same 'What a waste'.
to add to the confusion the mums brother killed himself about 5 years ago,I think he jumped off Clifton bridge.
All the young friends have been incredible, they are very sad non judgmental, and getting on with their lives.
In a small community the family does have support,personally I have talked with Mum dad and Brother, and said they can come and talk, shout and holler any time they want,in its own way it helps to know people are there for them.

Lise I did not realise that you started this dedication...thanks xx
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