Bears are pretty cool

[Admin note: this thread was split from "Iron Truth" in the Here and Now category in order to let the original thread continue on topic.]

Off-topic, sorry - has anyone seen Ron White (brilliant American stand-up comic) talk about Grizzly Man -- I'm with Ron on that one

polly wrote:

Perhaps I need to take a look at Ron White's talk but not tonight.

It's dark humour so be prepared - I love Ron White but he's not to everyone's taste.

Ron discusses watching the documentary made by the self-named Grizzly Man, Timothy Treadwell, who is eventually eaten by the bears he's been filming and kibitzing with (others finished the film's final edits, obviously). Ron, on Treadwell's somewhat predictable fate: "I never laughed so hard in my LIFE."

Maybe there's some "iron truth" there -- mess around where you shouldn't, and you might get eaten

I caught both the Treadwell's documentary as well as Ron's comedic spin on it.

We've kayaked in bear turf for many years. Often the only accessible camping or landing sites on rough sections of ocean coast line are the same places where bears live and feed. We deal with bears every summer. We've had our heads sniffed by bears and just this summer shared a beach for 3 days with a mother bear & cub where we were storm stuck. The most dangerous view that I run into frequently from humans about bears is the belief that Black or Griz have some consistent behaviour called "bear". The only thing I know about them after years of contact is they are all as varied in behaviour as humans, rival the terminator for speed & strength and the most likely experience of softness you'll get from them lies somewhere downstream from their teeth.

Cheers and mostly off topic as usual.

Not your fault Howard, I started it. Later this morning I'll split this -- we need a bear thread

Howard, how is it that your head was sniffed by a bear but not tasted apparently? You've left most of the story untold!

Sorry lise.

Bear story explanation.

Just another story of me sad manliness and questionable advise in the face of a bear meeting.

Off the Coast of the Queen Charlotte's below Alaska, are some very well fed black bears with the similar bone structure and muscular build of Grizzlys. We were kayak/camping on a very small Island and asleep in a 6 foot tent, (I'm 6.2') when the deeply mossy ground outside of the tent started to move as a big bear approached. It eventually started snuffeling my head that was pushing against the side of the tent. My wife said "what should we do" as the vacuuming of my head continued for a few more minutes.

What she didn't know was that without moving my head I had already reached out for the axe that was in the tent,( for the edification of women, this is what guys do to feel more secure in the bush) only to find that I had been sleeping on my arm and it was so completely asleep that my fingers could neither feel or hold anything. My sage response to her question was a whispered "Go back to sleep".

It eventually moved on leaving prints, some pretty sweaty night clothes, and my wife telling me in the morning that she was sure it must of taken part of my brain. I got the feeling that my embryonic, drop and sleep approach in the face of danger was less than she was hoping for.

Cheers

that's a little too up-close! Wow, the things you get to see/hear/feel when you get out into the wild. I'm no bear expert but your restrained approach seems sound enough to me. Trying to use an ax in close quarters would be tricky, I'd think (but good enough if there was no other choice).



I love the solidity of bears, the massive limbs and hindquarters. And cubs - I've been lucky once to see some, in the Sierra. Chubby, clumsy little twin furballs, tumbling over each other and Mama. So cute.

What a wonderful piece of luck, Howard, that you were wearing your Brylcreem on your hair. No bear would touch that!
Were it not so I'd have no-one to spar with now!
Luv,
Ol'ga the bear.
(I eat only toes, preferably the little toes - they're so wonderfully crunchy.)

Hey Ol'ga

Not much hair to put anything on anymore so maybe the bear got lucky that day. But I can say that a bears testing tongue sounds about as soft as shark skin when wiped over a head protected by tenting fabric.

As for your

(I eat only toes, preferably the little toes - they're so wonderfully crunchy.)

You've just given me one more of the 32 marks of a buddha. I'll let you quess which one.

H

From Howard:
You've just given me one more of the 32 marks of a buddha. I'll let you quess which one.
Oh dear, I'm totally out of my depth here. I remember only one of the marks of the Buddha: that he has big ears.
So the one more mark would be that Buddha would always meticulously cut the toe-nails, before blessing their suchness?

But I can give you another mark of the Buddha: his arm always goes to sleep when he sleeps in a tent. When the arm awakens, it is buddha!

Anyway, remember the sunyata of Brylcreem.
o.

Ol'ga

Sorry to be vague but the word police know where I live.
You retracted something in me that I didn't know was retractable with the line of how wonderfully crunchy little toes can be. Bear bangers & bear spray are now my new best friends.
Cheers
H

Bears are pretty cool...until they go for your dachsund, Fudge.

Alaskan woman says she punched bear to save her dog.

This happened in Juneau. A woman after my own heart!

mokuan wrote:

Bears are pretty cool...until they go for your dachsund, Fudge.

Yes, these two should not mix. Was Fudge where he shouldn't have been, or must we blame the bear for that?


More facts, please.

Well, Juneau is rather a haven for bears. Humans there have complained for years about bear troubles. However, I have not heard the bears' side of the story, and I'm inclined to think they would not characterize themselves as problems. And in the scheme of things, who was there first?

Little Fudge was not particularly out of his element, but obvioulsy he did not have his bear bells on. When I lived in Alaska, I never let my Annie-dog wander too far off without her bear bells --you can buy them at the checkout stand in most grocery stores.

I'm glad Fudge is safe and the bear only got a punch in the nose and not a bullet between the eyes. This will be a tale for the young woman to tell her grandchildren fifty years from now, which is a good thing. Alaskans love a good tale.

Mokuan



Course anyone taking a long sasauge on short legs called "Fudge" into the bush may not want to hang a dinner bell on them.

H

Howard,

Good to know that women can`t get ALL the Buddha marks male Buddhas
have. Even if they sit down in a cold wet kayak !
Maybe female Buddhas have some special female marks ? Maybe I should just
go to bed now.

Stan.

Welcome to Juneau. Fudge was in his back yard! Oops.

Howard, I've got some extra bells if you need them on your next kyaking trip.

Very funny Stan!

Thanks Mokuan for the offer but I don't know....

As vegetarians who on longer trips need a block & tackle to get all of their kayak food beyond a bears reach, the idea of including dinner bells into the mix seems a bit of a tease.

Sides

One of our more un nerving experiences about bears & sound was from a big alpha male bear who looked like a Volkswagen on legs that we spotted doing a steady saunter towards us on a northern beach near dusk. Lots of shouting, air force whistles and the banging of pots and pans had no effect. It's not looking good.

At 300 ft my daughter in survival mode, puts on the closest life jacket and scampers high up a skinny tree.

At 200 ft Jan & I realized that our campsite while sheltering us from the wind by a rock wall also gave us no possible escape route. It's looking worse.

At 100 ft it's determined that the bear bangers and bear spray we were scrambling around for were actually in the life jacket that was now high in a tree wrapped around my daughter.

At 70 Ft the bear finally heard us over the crashing surf on the beach rocks and with a look of boredom born of any top dog, slowly altered his course to a sleeping spot in some bushes behind our tent.

Didn't even amount to a bluff charge so much as just too much background noice on some old bears ears.

Yup, another good sleeping night in the tent and my adrenalin was just about back to normal by morning.

Howard,

I'll send you my ruby slippers instead.

m

A little day-brightener for one of our forum members who despises Priuses (Pria?) --

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2011/09/06/dnt-bear-destroys-prius.kovr?hpt=hp_t2

Bearly believable , Lise.

This must of been one frustrated bear.



A number of years ago in Northern California in the summer we had trouble finding a car camping site that wasn't full. We finally found a valley where camp site after camp site was empty but there was lots of broken auto glass all over the place. Someone came by to warn us away saying that the bears in this area had learned to associate the coolers in cars with food. Since most people doing car camping in California in the summer keep their auto windows slightly open to let the heat out, the bears had learned that a couple of claws pulling at the right spot would cause the window to just pop out.

We stayed there with all our car windows fully open and our food suspended between two trees so no damage to speak of but that still didn't stop a midnight game of garbage can soccer by bears around out tent who were obviously peeved at the lack of offerings.



PS .I notice that the OBC connect related emails from folks asking if they could come with us on our next kayak trip have dried up after this thread was started.

Cheers

H

Quote :

I notice that the OBC connect related emails from folks asking if they could come with us on our next kayak trip have dried up after this thread was started

Just goes to show the intelligence of forum members!

Mark

You can still come if you promise to run slower than us.

H

Another tidbit, from my (temporary) neighborhood in the wilds of CO - baby bears climbing into tourists' convertibles is a known hazard. People drive up to their condos after dinner, forget about the styrofoam containers of leftovers placed in the back seat, and sure enough some fat little cub hops in and rampages through it around 1 or 2 am. One little guy had burrito leftovers, then crushed five cans of beer one by one and guzzled them, then fell asleep in the car. Priceless.

If humans can't do better than this, they need to adopt the bears outright - open their homes (and refrigerators) to them and hope for the best

I live in the woods and am surrounded by ancient apple trees as well as huge white firs. Last fall about 4 a.m. the cats were freaking out at the window that is next to a crab-apple tree that stands about 40 feet from my house. A strong flashlight showed three cubs squinting in the glare but still steadily grazing on apples. I took a step outside the door and heard/saw Momma bear coming headfirst down the big white fir. Obviously I ducked back inside and turned out all the lights and figured they would go away. Later on, maybe 8 a.m., I went out into the yard to count the bear piles on my lawn. Suddenly heard much crashing and commotion in the fir tree, (only 30 feet from the door.) This time Momma bear was coming down feet first. She stopped and stood upright on a big branch when she saw me, and then stuck one leg out sideways and wet her pants. I felt much the same. I bolted back indoors and this time they all shinnied down the tree and hared up into the hills where I prefer they stay. I've lost three peach trees and a pear to bears and I never get any plums. Plus they leave really big piles everywhere. It's now bow season and I have three spikes and a five point that hang out in the creek bottom next to my garden. Glad they can be safe here, but they eat all my flowers! The only animals I just don't want around are the cougars, which I see periodically, and coyotes, because they kill the cats. It's not Alaska, but it's pretty populated. When I was a kid there were only skunks and porcupines here and I never see them now. That's my bear story, plus some.

polly wrote:

That's my bear story, plus some.

I guess so! You must have steady nerves, to live there. I'm sure it's a beautiful place though.

Cougars are my big worry too, I think I see one behind every rock. The thought of it keeps one moving smartly down the trail toward the car, esp. as dusk gets closer . . .

:-) Old news (2010), perhaps you've all seen it...

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/sep/15/yoga-bear-finland
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/gallery/2010/sep/15/yoga-bear-finland

(Shame if she's lonely, though)

Isan has a great set of photos showing a bear in someones back yard making its way along a rope like a monkey to get to a suspended bird feeder. I've tried to privately entice him to share them here at the lounge to no avail so a public plea it is.

Isan????

Howard wrote:

Isan has a great set of photos showing a bear in someones back yard making its way along a rope like a monkey to get to a suspended bird feeder. I've tried to privately entice him to share them here at the lounge to no avail so a public plea it is.

Isan????

Alas I don't think I still have them, but I'll look around :-)

Edit: Here they are :-)