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small fires



Posts : 3
Join date : 2011-02-09

PostSubject: hello to all   Wed Feb 09, 2011 3:05 pm

I was a lay-Buddhist with a strong connection to my local priory in the early to mid-90's, and did some retreats at the Abbey. I just found this Forum this morning and have been liked the majority of posts; although I have nothing but good memories of my past connection to OBC, I am now seeing why I haven't gone back.
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chisanmichaelhughes

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Posts : 1638
Join date : 2010-11-17

PostSubject: Re: hello to all   Wed Feb 09, 2011 5:12 pm

Small fires, no one has said hello to you
Hello and what a great name you have, you seem to have posted a little tempting thought about who you really are,or what you are really saying.

So I am tempted 'Who are you Small fire'
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Kyogen

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Posts : 141
Join date : 2010-07-23
Location : Portland, OR

PostSubject: Re: hello to all   Wed Feb 09, 2011 10:40 pm

Hello Small Fires. While I'm just as curious as Michael, I'm quite content for you to be as open or anonymous as you please. However you participate, please feel welcome.

With palms joined,

Kyogen
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small fires



Posts : 3
Join date : 2011-02-09

PostSubject: Re: hello to all   Thu Feb 10, 2011 2:26 am

Thanks for the welcomes, Chisan and Kyogen. I was brief in my first posting because (1) it kept getting bounced back so I thought it was too long (it was my title: too short, duh) and (2) I'm reluctant to reveal much about myself because I want to remain anonymous for now. To my priory and to OBC. I found a great deal to use from OBC, and thought that when my son was grown I would become a monk, but heard a voice one day telling me I'd marry again (I'd been divorced a couple years), that monastic life would actually be too easy for me. And I did meet a man two years later, and we have been married 16 years now, and all the stuff at Shasta still seems easier than staying married! That is, for my ego. And the marriage just took me right out of the priory and into the lives of my husband and children. When I think of starting meditation practice, and especially being involved in my local priory again with the rituals and the community thingies, and I've tried "re-entry", there's just something that is respectful but unsatisfied.

With that said, I've also been studying shamanism and doing a bit myself (I do bodywork as well as some other stuff), and what I find unsatisfying about Buddhism is: celibacy. Which is another thread, I know. (And I've been looking at it.) I think I didn't like being a lay-trainee in OBC because it was like being a monk without the "good" stuff. And when I thought about Buddha's life, bless the dude, it seemed too much a rejection for me of basic human life. Good path for Siddhartha Gautama: not really good for most of the rest of us. It turns out, for me, enlightenment is not the best I can aim for.

Still keeping open for that "best", but it has to do with not being monastic. For me.

Thanks for the interest. My ego is now nicely inflated!
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chisanmichaelhughes

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Posts : 1638
Join date : 2010-11-17

PostSubject: Re: hello to all   Thu Feb 10, 2011 2:44 am

That is much better,Small fire. I did think you were a lady,somehow small fire seems feminine, that maybe just me.

personally I think the big question is zen in daily life,here we are in all sorts of situations,with no candles to light and what is our pratice. If we can find the basis of it I think we start to the road that leads to our hearts, and whilst there may be many other roads, for me it is the only one that brings peace integrity and fullfillness

Anyway naughty lady you hooked our curiosity! Good luck
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Lise
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Posts : 1416
Join date : 2009-11-08
Age : 43

PostSubject: Re: hello to all   Thu Feb 10, 2011 10:57 am

Hello Small Fires, welcome from me too. I hope you enjoy being part of the forum.

I wasn't drawn to celibacy either, which made me a bit of a damp squib to my teachers Rolling Eyes , and I've never thought of "attachments" as something that will do me harm. I stayed true to what was right for me and it sounds like you have done the same.

Glad you've joined us --

Lise
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